When does the hurting stop
Today at work I received yet another idiotic series of emails. I really don't think people consider the implications of the "reply all" button in their email, as this email originally would've have gone to at least 1000 people, all of whom received the replies. This series of emails went as follows (names have been removed or replaced to protect the guilty):
From: Some Random
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:05 PM
To: An entire division of a global multibillion dollar company
Subject: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
The City of Perth have lodged a complaint in regards to the cigarette butts being dropped near the tree's on xxxx street at the Level 2 entry of 1 xxxx street and there have also been numerous complaints about cigarette butts being thrown into garden beds.
Building management have arranged to have this area cleaned up, however, future costs incurred due to having to clean up after people littering shall be charged to directly to the project concerned.
Regards
_____________________
Random Chick
Health & Safety Coordinator
Global multibillion dollar company
Level 4,1 xxxx Street
Ph + 61 (08) 9xxx xxxx
Fax + 61 (08) 9xxx xxxx
Mobile 04xx xxx xxx
random.chick@.globalmultibilliondollarcompany.com
Now I figure this is fair enough, whatever, I don't care as it doesn't concern me but she's right, and the smokers shouldn't be putting their cigarette butts anywhere other than bins. Although ideally they'd put it in designated ashtrays as the number of times I've seen smoke barreling out of bins because some dickhead didn't put their cigarette butt out before chucking it in the bin and it's started other shit smoldering is absurd. I should also point out that the dickhead that sent this email is stupid enough to have a full stop after the @ in her email address in her signature... this is not my typo.
Anyway, some dickhead replied to this email, using the "reply all" button with this:
From: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:14 PM
To: Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Hmm, maybe IÂm going out on a limb here, but perhaps global multi billion dollar company could work with COP to locate a bin in an area that obviously needs it.
Hmmm, yeah that'shelpfull fuckwit! Maybe people should smoke where such a bin, specifically for cigarettes already exists.
Then, in comes in a guy from our office, whom we liken to Butters from South Park with:
From: Butters (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:22 PM
To: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC);Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Or ban smoking in public places!!!!
Another helpful contribution. This guy is supposedly an engineer.... they'll give any idiot a degree these days! I overheard someone in the office say, in response to this email, that "maybe they should ban breathing". I added that they should ban the "reply all" button, as it would be more beneficial.
Another reply to some dickhead's email came shortly after, from some random CAD monkey which read as follows:
From: Monkey, CAD (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:31 PM
To: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC);Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Maybe global multi billion dollar company should encourage staff NOT to smoke at all. Look at all the benefits you derive from that;
Better for your health.
Considerable saving.
No more smelling like an ashtray.
Improving productivity.
Cleaner environment (no butts and cleaner air entering the building).
Need anymore .......
Regards,
CAD Monkey
Electrical Lead Draftsman
Place Up North Upgrade Project
Level 4, xxxxxxxxStt
Perth WA 6000
T: (08) 9xxx xxxx
F: (08) 9xxx xxxx
E: cad.monkey@companygmbdctookoveratsomepoint.globalmultibilliondollarcompany.com.au
At least this guy got his email address right :) But yet again, a contribution I didn't need to read. I felt like pointing out to him that it's a long way down from that high horse he's perched himself on and that he should be careful not to fall but refrained. His email also made me think of what my mum had said a couple nights before about the principal at her school's husband dying in his sleep at approximately 50 years old with no apparent cause. The guy was a fitness freak of some sort. Reminds me of something Bill Hicks said about non-smokers holding this eternal life fantasy, which extends to health/fitness nuts. Everyone dies sooner or later, at the end of the day you could get hit by a bus tomorrow so who cares, enjoy life, don't get too caught up in the bullshit (he says after writing a whole post about the bullshit).
From: Some Random
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:05 PM
To: An entire division of a global multibillion dollar company
Subject: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
The City of Perth have lodged a complaint in regards to the cigarette butts being dropped near the tree's on xxxx street at the Level 2 entry of 1 xxxx street and there have also been numerous complaints about cigarette butts being thrown into garden beds.
Building management have arranged to have this area cleaned up, however, future costs incurred due to having to clean up after people littering shall be charged to directly to the project concerned.
Regards
_____________________
Random Chick
Health & Safety Coordinator
Global multibillion dollar company
Level 4,1 xxxx Street
Ph + 61 (08) 9xxx xxxx
Fax + 61 (08) 9xxx xxxx
Mobile 04xx xxx xxx
random.chick@.globalmultibilliondollarcompany.com
Now I figure this is fair enough, whatever, I don't care as it doesn't concern me but she's right, and the smokers shouldn't be putting their cigarette butts anywhere other than bins. Although ideally they'd put it in designated ashtrays as the number of times I've seen smoke barreling out of bins because some dickhead didn't put their cigarette butt out before chucking it in the bin and it's started other shit smoldering is absurd. I should also point out that the dickhead that sent this email is stupid enough to have a full stop after the @ in her email address in her signature... this is not my typo.
Anyway, some dickhead replied to this email, using the "reply all" button with this:
From: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:14 PM
To: Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Hmm, maybe IÂm going out on a limb here, but perhaps global multi billion dollar company could work with COP to locate a bin in an area that obviously needs it.
Hmmm, yeah that'shelpfull fuckwit! Maybe people should smoke where such a bin, specifically for cigarettes already exists.
Then, in comes in a guy from our office, whom we liken to Butters from South Park with:
From: Butters (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:22 PM
To: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC);Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Or ban smoking in public places!!!!
Another helpful contribution. This guy is supposedly an engineer.... they'll give any idiot a degree these days! I overheard someone in the office say, in response to this email, that "maybe they should ban breathing". I added that they should ban the "reply all" button, as it would be more beneficial.
Another reply to some dickhead's email came shortly after, from some random CAD monkey which read as follows:
From: Monkey, CAD (GMBDC)
Sent: Monday, 13 March 2006 4:31 PM
To: Dickhead, Some (GMBDC);Chick, Random (division of GMBDC); Entire division of a GMBDC
Subject: RE: xxxx Street - Cigarette butts
Maybe global multi billion dollar company should encourage staff NOT to smoke at all. Look at all the benefits you derive from that;
Better for your health.
Considerable saving.
No more smelling like an ashtray.
Improving productivity.
Cleaner environment (no butts and cleaner air entering the building).
Need anymore .......
Regards,
CAD Monkey
Electrical Lead Draftsman
Place Up North Upgrade Project
Level 4, xxxxxxxxStt
Perth WA 6000
T: (08) 9xxx xxxx
F: (08) 9xxx xxxx
E: cad.monkey@companygmbdctookoveratsomepoint.globalmultibilliondollarcompany.com.au
At least this guy got his email address right :) But yet again, a contribution I didn't need to read. I felt like pointing out to him that it's a long way down from that high horse he's perched himself on and that he should be careful not to fall but refrained. His email also made me think of what my mum had said a couple nights before about the principal at her school's husband dying in his sleep at approximately 50 years old with no apparent cause. The guy was a fitness freak of some sort. Reminds me of something Bill Hicks said about non-smokers holding this eternal life fantasy, which extends to health/fitness nuts. Everyone dies sooner or later, at the end of the day you could get hit by a bus tomorrow so who cares, enjoy life, don't get too caught up in the bullshit (he says after writing a whole post about the bullshit).
4 Comments:
i recently fell victim to a reply all e-mail fuck fest. it wasn't company wide, just department wide.. i finally couldn't help it and responded back with this:
ENOUGH! I have too much rubbish cluttering my e-mail inbox already without all your help!
that put a stop to it. it was just mindless fucking bickering back and forth. leave me out next time!
i hate work sometimes.
Smokers will still die sooner than non-smokers, and usually painfully.
oh pfft.. the world doesnt need more self-righteous goons imposing their views on other people. someone should put them in their place and tell them to get back to work :p
Hmmmm, yes, a lack of self righteous goons imposing their views would be nice..... it would also be the end of organised religion :)
That's funny Maja, given that your boyfriend smoked for many years (and have you ever smoked?)
Sarah... I swear I responded to your comment... perhaps it was on your blog. Good work on your part though :)
Post a Comment
<< Home